I decided to post my thoughts the night before the gallery opening as a way to cross-check it with my after thoughts.  Today I set up my work and it was not all smooth.  The gallery wasn’t prepared for me, and worst of all some of my work was scratched or stretched in transportation.  Some of my best work has been permanently dis-figured.  As I had all my work up I felt an overwhelming sense of emptiness as I looked at my work in it’s first gallery showcase.  I wasn’t quite sure why.

I suppose it is every artists angst the day before a show.  The feeling “is my work good enough?” always comes into play.   I have been my biggest supporter throughout this whole thing and now I felt a bit rattled.  Every small detail seemed to be off in my perspective.  I walked away from the gallery thinking, that’s it… nothing I can do now.

Tonight I remembered to relax.  I think about all my supporters and the hundreds of people that will be in and out of the showcase.  Ultimately, I know my work is not bad.  I also know that many people enjoy it. 

As a solemn reminder of the art world, tonight I was politely declined by EO Lab in Chester.. a gallery which is #1 on my list.  Reminding me that this is a long and tiresome process.  One gallery show is a dot in the overall story and that I should feel nothing but gratitude for all those venues and supporters I have received over these past short months.  I now have the feeling I used to get before presenting in architecture school.  The cool thing is that I am not intimidated considering arch school pounds you into the ground for 5 years.

I am of course worried, relieved, anxious, but most of all, I am excited that I will be given an opportunity to become an ‘Artist’.  A title that I feel I have not yet achieved.